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editing
Zen practice is to be fully alive in each moment. Only by this living activity can you take care of your everyday life.
*Dainin Katagiri. You Have to Say Something.
One day a student was in the hall at Sokoji [Soto Mission of San Fransico] when Suzuki Roshi approached him. "Just to be alive is enough," Suzuki said, and with that, he turned around and walked away.
*David Chadwick, Ed. Zen is Right Here.
She said, "I'm trying to be content, but I'm finding it hard to do." The Sage replied, "It's hard because you're trying to be content. Contentment doesn't arise such effort. Contentment arises from the intimate, lived realization that there isn't any reason not to be content."
*Brian K. Wilcox. Meetings with an Anonymous Sage."
* * *
The practice of plenty is the practice of enough. Sitting in silence, in whatever way we meditate, we may feel disappointed. Sitting is not satisfying our 'spiritual' greed. We wanted more. Or, we say we turned our life over to our god. We maybe thought, "I'll serve God, and God will do this and that for me." Then, we believe our god failed us. "How could God do that after I did so and so for God? Maybe God is not pleased with me. Maybe I need to try harder." We used our spirituality as a make-a-deal project, and it did not work. What a good result! Now, we can be free of the deal that was never a deal.
A good letdown, exposing our spiritual-experience covetousness or religious deal-making is part of spiritual practrice. It happens to us all - at least until we learn better. The disappointment allows us to see how wonderful life is where we already are. We see, right here, is enough, and enough is wonderful, is sufficient cause for gratitude.
We sit in meditation or walk along or drive along, practicing plenty, and breathing is enough, sensations are enough, feelings are enough, thoughts are enough, sounds are enough, a "hello" and smile to someone is enough ... We did not get a trip to the ethereal theme park, or we were not overcome with awe - with nothing - and we are okay with that.
Not getting the more we wanted, we relax. We are learning to feel into the plentifulness of just this. We release the mad dash for more and more and more ... We realize the spiritual path is not a candy store.
* * *
Sure, we have moments in silence and outside when more seems to come. But it is not more. The innate spaciousness has a vast, possibly infinite, array of experience. Each experience is enough. Why? We are not living from experiences.
When learning experiences are not experiences, we are learning to live from before experiences. Experiences are arising from the fecund, immaterial spaciousness - call this True Self, Buddha Nature, God, Brahman, Creator, Life, Dharmakaya, ... - words that are experiences. Words bubble up. When you are not thinking of the word, where did it go? Recently, I read I - like you - will be forgotten in three generations following my death. Where did Brian go? Brian is an experience having experiences. What is having the Brian-experience?
* * *
Beginning with enough now, we can receive what appears to be more and what seems to be less. But we come to see chasing after the appearances of more is futile and exhausting. We long for the non-experience.
This does not mean we do not invite positive changes. Sometimes, we need a change. We may need in or out of a relationship, a job, or another situation. But the situation is not life. Life is never a lack, and it is never a problem. Life is the spaciousness, and it is alive.
So, we can make changes, but not because life is not enough. And we may not make a change, for we see the change was not needed; the only change was needed in us. We were disconnected from life. We were living like a chrysalis in a cocoon, and we could have been flying about and enjoying nectar.
* * *
We learn life is enough, for it is outside the ideas of scarcity and abundance, spiritual or unspiritual, or religious or irreligious. This insight influences how we relate to spiritual experiences. We can be open to what others might pursue as special spiritual surprises. Still, we do not value them as more important, sacred, holy, or enlightened than living with what is with us at this moment, feeling content and complete in its presence.
If angels or buddhas were to appear hovering over your head, would that be more holy than sitting right on the spot in the silence, feeling the weight on your rear and sensations on your skin, and hearing the sounds all around you? If your god spoke to you, would that be more sacred than the sound of your breathing or birdsong coming from a tree outside your window? Is something like Holy Communion more enlightened than enjoying coffee or tea with a pastry at a cafe with your friend?
The sacredness is not merely about what is done; it is the consciousness you bring to the doing, the intimacy in which you offer yourself into the doing. Wholeheartedly means you fully give yourself, and the sense of enough becomes present. Yet, enough was already enough, for enough does not become.
* * *
Enough is always enough, whether it be a sneeze, a big laugh, or a "Hallelujah!" You are like a cow grazing in a huge pasture. You can look in any direction, and there is only plush, green pasture. And there are no fences.
There is plenty, so there is enough. Whether sitting on our porch or walking in the city far away that we have long dreamed of visiting, there is plenty, so enough. Whether we are praying or mopping a floor, there is plenty, so enough. We discover that our activity is alive, and all the activity around us is alive, too. Whether we pray or poop, life is living in and through the act. It is all life, so it is all alive.
So, we can stop running from life to a better life and start enjoying life more fully now. If we do this, life will appear to get better. We may have lived like we had a few square yards or one acre to graze in. Now, the pasture seems to be getting bigger, but it always stays the same. Maybe we saw a scarcity of green grass, but now we see green grass as far as the eye can see. The fences were never there, and everywhere was always green, plush grass. We only lived as though there was not enough to be content and enjoy.
* * *
Life never changes, getting better or worse, more or less; we change, and our capacity to see, receive, and enjoy grows. We see how impossible it is to fit life in our little head, and we like seeing that is so. We move from discontent and complaint to wonder and gratitude.
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